Frequently Asked Questions About Tantra
Please note that I do not speak for everyone in answering these questions! Each Guide and Temple has a unique relationship to Tantra. I respect the vast majority of interpretations of this work and seek only to be clear where I stand as an individual guide. For more info, please also check out My Practitioner Ethics.
What happens in a Tantra Session?
A good Tantra Session has a dual function of both healing and learning. The goal of Tantric practice is to build a relationship between the practitioner and their true inner self through breath work, mindfulness, meditation, and human connection. By studying with a Tantric Guide or Teacher you are learning to use Tantra, an inherently healing practice, in your everyday life.
You’ll know that you’ve had a proper session when you leave the temple space with a new set of energetic tools- feeling rejuvenated and empowered to continue on your unique spiritual journey.
What are the physical boundaries in a Tantra Session?
This is a question that will change a lot based on the Tantric Guide that you’ve chosen, the state laws where he or she practices, and your personal goals for the work. Far be it from me to judge the closely held values of any practitioner other than myself, but I strive to have a very high level of integrity in my work. To me this means that I remain fully clothed and that my body is not a part of the session.
I’d like to be black-and-white about the matter and say that a client cannot touch me at all, but the truth is, as I often explain in a session, that it is okay to touch my arms or legs if you are feeling ungrounded or insecure.
The factor that determines acceptability of touch is the intention behind it.
It is not ok to desire or objectify your Tantric Guide because you will lose sight of your true center by outwardly projecting your experience. Nor is it acceptable to relate to your Guide as a substitute for a healthy relationship.
The essence of “desire” is very important to the human experience. It is a base element that can be transmuted into “devotion”. A good Guide will help you to ground the energy of desire into something that is more useful in your everyday life. I realize that this is a vague description, but it is a concept that is better understood through experience.
How many times/how often should I see a practitioner?
The winding road of your spiritual journey is a long one. It is a road that is known only to you because it is unique to your life, your experiences, and your goals. Like with any journey, there will be times when you find yourself looking at a map more often than others- times when the road is foggy and there are many turns. Other periods of your journey will be marked by sunshine and long, clear stretches of road.
To translate, trust your inner wisdom on this question. Maybe you are at a time where weekly or biweekly visits with your Guide are the right choice. You could also be approaching a time where you have to travel without your guide for a while.
Take comfort in knowing that I will always be around to support you, but I will never encourage you to become dependent on me for your continued growth.
How do I tell my spouse, friends, coworkers, and/or family that I have been working with Tantric Guide without being shamed or misunderstood?
Professional Tantric Guides are used to this question, as it is one that many of us face in our own lives. Whether we like it or not, we are all engaging in the uphill struggle to make healthy Tantric practice a socially acceptable outlet for emotional and spiritual healing.
First, I suggest being very clear on your goals with the work. It is easier to explain the validity of the practice to others when you are sure of it within yourself.
Second, make sure that the Guide you work with is someone that you actually admire. If you are working someone who carries their practice with integrity and pride, it will make a difference to people who know little about it. Ask your Guide to have a professional, if simple, website with testimonials and clear descriptions of who they are and what they do. This way, if people in your life want to learn more, you can show them with clarity.
Third, if this work is making a big difference in your life, be proud to stand up and say so! Your authentic display of truth has a more powerful effect on the world than you can possibly imagine. The more people that are willing to say, “I’m learning Tantric Practice and I love it”, the more acceptable it will become.
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