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Using Tantra to Rekindle Romance as a Couple in a Chaotic World

The grind of daily can leave couples feeling like ships passing in the night. Between work, errands, and the never-ending to-do list, intimacy often falls by the wayside. Sometimes it can even make a couple question their whole relationship. But what if there was a way to cultivate deeper connection and rekindle romance, even with limited time? Enter tantra

a couple holding sparklers in the evening

Tantra, often misconstrued as solely a sexual practice, is a vast and ancient philosophy with applications far beyond the bedroom. It had a unique perspective on the world as wholly divine. At its core, tantra is about harnessing energy, cultivating presence, and deepening connection – all things that can benefit busy couples. Here's how:

1. Presence Over Performance:

Our fast-paced world thrives on achievement, and this can bleed into our sex lives. For any gender, sex can become a performative act that is more about the performance or orgasm than an exploration of pleasure. Tantra encourages a shift from "getting there" to savoring the journey. By focusing on mindful touch, breathwork, and shared sensuality, couples can find pleasure in simply being present with each other. Ten minutes of breathing deeply and gently eye-gazing can create a truly connected intimacy that can be more nourishing than any rushed encounter.

2. Communication is Key:

Tantra emphasizes open and honest communication, both verbally and nonverbally. It encourages couples to discuss desires, boundaries, and fantasies in a safe space. This open dialogue fosters trust, understanding, and a deeper emotional connection that spills over into all aspects of the relationship. The body based aspect of Tantra can offer a whole new form of communication when words aren't serving to reconnected you with you beloved.

3. Rediscovering Sensuality:

Tantra goes beyond the genitals, encouraging couples to explore pleasure through touch, taste, smell, and sound. A slow massage with focus on different sensations, a mindful meal shared with eye contact, or simply appreciating each other's scent – these practices heighten awareness and create a more holistic experience of intimacy.

We store so much tension and stress in our muscles, that having a partner offer a deep massage can feel like being witnessed and seen in a way that we don't often get to experience. It creates a whole new level of seeing and honoring one another. A weekly ritual around touch can become a sensual anchor in the relationship, even when that touch isn't overtly sexual. After all, Tantra is often referred to as the desireless desire.

4. Intimacy Beyond the Bedroom:

The tantric principles of presence and connection can be applied to everyday interactions. Taking a walk hand-in-hand, truly listening to each other's stories, or sharing a meal with focused attention – these seemingly mundane acts become opportunities to strengthen your bond. Eye-gazing across the room can allow couples to communicated volumes in one simple look, offering acknowledgement, witnessing, and a sense of belonging.

Getting Started with Tantra:

Remember, tantra is a journey, not a destination. Here are some tips for incorporating it into your busy life:

  • Start Small: Dedicate 5-15 minutes a day for focused connection. It could be a mindful massage, a guided breathing exercise, or simply gazing into each other's eyes.

  • Set the Mood: Create a calming atmosphere with candles, incense, or calming music. Need some tips? Check out my guide on creating sacred space in your home.

  • Focus on Communication: Discuss your expectations and boundaries openly.

  • Seek Resources: Read books on tantra or explore online guided practices together. And of course, if you feel stuck in these practices, take the time to sit with an experienced tantric guide.

By prioritizing connection over performance, tantra can help couples rediscover the joy of intimacy, even amidst the chaos of daily life. It's a practice that strengthens your bond, deepens your understanding of each other, and creates a more fulfilling and vibrant relationship.

Ever Forward in your love <3


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